Suffering in Silence

A couple of weeks ago I posted on facebook a conversation I had with a friend. My friend has felt God leading him into a new ministry. He wants to begin a healing ministry to men who have participated in abortions. As he shared his heart and his own personal story I began to get a vision of something I have never thought of before – an army of men who have kept the pain, shame and guilt of abortion inside. After all, for every woman who has an abortion there is a man.

What does a man do with those feelings? How does a guy process a girl whom he impregnated having an abortion without his knowledge? What if he actually assisted in the abortion?

There are tons of ministries out there to help women receive grace and healing after an abortion, but what about the men?

My friends pain was obvious, even though it had been 30 plus years since he helped his girlfriend get an abortion.

A few weeks later, I still cannot get that conversation out of my mind and wonder how many men are suffering in silence.

This morning, my friend shared his story with a small group of 8 guys. I was one of the 8. Out of this group of 8 men (all close to my age), 7  are in ministry, 6 are in pastoral ministry. By the end of the conversation, 4 of the 8 men opened up and shared their story with abortion; at least 1 of the men (a pastor) shared his experience for the very first time. Think that through: In a group of 8 men, half admitted to having impregnated a girl and then helped that girl get an abortion!

One elderly man, who does ministry in prison, cried as he told the story of a prisoner he is working with who is carrying guilt because of 7 abortions he has help facilitate. After he shared this story it dawned on me that the affects of abortion on men may actually be worse than that on women. Why? Because more than likely a woman will have 1, maybe 2, possibly 3 abortions, but there are untold men who have played a vital role in multiple abortions.

My friends healing ministry is desperately needed.

Somehow the church has got to offer a safe place for men to share their experiences.

It starts with you, sharing your story and giving other guys permission to share their story.

There is healing, grace, and forgiveness in Jesus Christ. You can be set free. You don’t have to suffer in silence.

If this is your story, please share it here.

If you are not ready to share it publicly, share it me privately. Email me your story at

Let’s find healing together.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s