The Christian Bookstore

Have you walked through a Christian Bookstore lately?

Early in my ministry I was a regular at Christians Bookstores. Not hardly a week went by when I did not visit one of the several located in my city. Looking back, the amount of money I spent building up my library was mind-blowing. As a result I had a pretty comprehensive and impressive “Pastor’s Study.” I was  such a good customer at one of the leading Christian Bookstore chains that they gave me my own personal account. I could walk into any of their national stores and get what I wanted and get billed later; and I got at 10% discount to boot!

I loved Christian Bookstores.

When I moved to Arkansas there was a small Christian Bookstore in my town, but the really good ones where an hour away. It was during that time that I started purchasing books through the mail, having them shipped directly to my house was really convenient. Not long after that, I started shopping on-line. For the past year and a half I have had a Kindle. It has been over a year since I actually purchased a real book.

I have not been inside a Christian Bookstore in quite some time.

Yesterday I was looking for a specific item that required me to go to a Christian Bookstore.

Do you know what it is like to go somewhere a whole bunch and then not go for awhile and then when you go back to that place, it’s not like you remember? That’s what happened to me. To be honest, I had a queazy feeling as I walked around. I could not believe what I saw. There were…

  • …Christian ties
  • …Christian shirts
  • …Christian hats
  • …Christian socks
  • …Christian underwear (not really, but I am sure they are out there somewhere)
  • …Christian candies
  • …Christian candles
  • …Christian candle holders
  • …Christian matches to light the Christian candles in the Christian candle holders (not really, but I’m sure someone will market it them soon)
  • …Christian coffee mugs
  • …Christian coffee
  • …Christian tea for Christians who don’t like coffee (although I don’t know how you can be a Christian and not like coffee)
  • …Christian jewelry
  • …Christian pens
  • …Christian pins
  • …Christian pencils
  • …Christian breath-mints
  • …Christian flashlights
  • …Christian chocolates
  • …Christian sports necklaces and bracelets that are supposed to give you incredible (Christian) strength and balance
  • …Christian “thank-you” cards
  • …Christian computer games
  • …Christian notebooks and notebook paper
  • …Christian door-knockers
  • …Christian dishes for your kitchen
  • …Christian “get-well” cards
  • …Christian statues
  • …Christian bill-folds
  • …Christian finger-nail polish
  • …Christian cologne
  • …Christian DVDs
  • …Christian music

I guess if you shopped in Christian Bookstores enough you could eventually have a Christian Yard Sale at your house. After all, “One Christian’s junk is another Christian’s treasure.”

I got the impression that anything you could find at Wal-Mart you could slap the label “Christian” on it, or print a Bible verse on it, and sell it at the Christian Bookstore for twice what it would cost at the Pagan Wal-Mart.

I guess the recession hasn’t deeply affected Christians…except for the amount they give to their church or missions agency.

Is it considered tithing if I buy a Christian billfold to keep my Christian credit cards in so I can purchase the latest Christian lawn jockeys (I mean Wise Men display)?

Surprisingly, there were even some Christian books in the Christian Bookstore.

And the Bibles!

I have read and studied the Bible my entire life but I was lost and confused in the maze of different choices. There was the…

  • Patriot Bible
  • Political Bible (not sure if it were Republican or Democrat)
  • Bibles for Dads with Daughters
  • Bibles for Dads with Sons
  • Bibles for Moms with Sons
  • Bibles for Moms with Daughters
  • Fishermen’s Bible (actual people who fish, not “fisher’s of men”)
  • Soldier’s Bible
  • Policeman’s Bible
  • Fireman’s Bible
  • Teacher’s Bible
  • Bible for people with one green eye and one blue eye (not really)
  • Financial Guide Bible
  • Hunter’s Bible
  • College Students Bible
  • Bible for Dummies

I wonder if non-Christians ever go into a Christian Bookstore, and if they do, what do they think about all the Christian trinkets and gadgets?

Is there a Muslim Bookstore? If so, I would like to visit it.

What about a Hindu Bookstore, or a Buddhist Bookstore, or a Confucius Bookstore, or a Mormon Bookstore? (Maybe I can find some “Christian” underwear there.)

Are there Christian Bookstores in Third World countries?

Is the commercialization of religion a religious problem or is it uniquely a North American Christian phenomenon?

What would Jesus do?

How come there is not a Christian car, or a Christian hamburger?

Of course there is a Christian chicken sandwich – aka Chick-fil-a.

Do “Test-a-Mints” (I’m not making that up), mints with Bible verses on them, taste better than Certs, or at least give you Christian smelling breath?

Am I a hypocrite for writing this post while dreaming of the day when I walk into a Christian Bookstore and see my book proudly displayed? I would be willing to place Christian ads on my blogsite…if the money was right. That would be the Christian thing to do.

I think it would be cool to be a Christian celebrity.

Being a Christian nobody doesn’t pay very well. I don’t have a lot of “in God we trust” money to put in my Christian bank account so I can pay my bills with my Christian checks.

I hope you consider this post Christian sarcasm.

I’m just bored as I am in my Christian home, sitting in my Christian recliner, watching a football game on my Christian television, and of course the team playing is a Christian team – the Dallas Cowboys!

By the way, I didn’t find what I was looking for so that means I have to, I mean get to, go to another Christian Bookstore.

I can’t wait.

I will let you know how it goes.


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